I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
These tits shall not be calmed
The ass gains better be worth it
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