I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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