who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
