They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
