I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
