I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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