put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
