Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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