This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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