There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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