I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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