ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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