I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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