Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
