apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
