i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize