Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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