Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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