after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
