Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
