party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
