I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
