Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
