Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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