I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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