I bet he comes in French.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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