Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
