between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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