and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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