Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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