What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
