I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize