I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
