i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
