i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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