marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
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I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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