Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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