I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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