if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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