He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
