Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
PANTIES FOUND
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
