She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
