I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
