i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
