Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
