found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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