I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
