You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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