Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
