that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize