Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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