My room smells like vodka and shame
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
