He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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