You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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