I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i love accidental penises.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
