We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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