so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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