if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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