I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
