So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
