god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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