I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
