There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
