Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
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Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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