The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can Purell be used as lube?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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